1 AM and I am...

...thinking about choices. For the past two days the mysterious bird philanthropist has chosen to dump about a cup of what appears to be corn muffin mix on the sidewalk for (her) fine feathered friends.

Meanwhile, back at the bat cave, I have been debating my choice of career. I am currently in my 3rd quarter of an 18 month masters program in information systems at UW. I am also still teaching 8th grade full time. Am I nuts? Possibly.

I decided last fall that I needed to get out of the classroom and into educational software, and I still want to do that. The problem is that I still get so excited about wanting to try out new stuff with "my kids". I have been in workshops for the past 4 days and have been working so hard at trying to figure out how I will integrate what I am learning with current curriculum, how to convince others to buy in, how to finagle the supplies I need...and I love it.

The problem is that I am a great teacher. Sure, I have problems and failings just like everyone else, but I am REALLY good at what I do. I just can't stand being in a place where I can't get what I need to do my job, I'm not paid what I should be, I'm asked to do so many extra things that I am going insane, parents either don't care at all or are so strangely intrusive it's painful...So I won't do it anymore. This will be my last year as a teacher. I want to make it a really good one, but I am afraid that with all of the studying I have to do, it won't be. I am also afraid that I won't get a job. It would be terribly ironic to spend $45,000 on a degree, and torture myself for a year and a half only to emerge unemployed. It's a good thing I'm meeting with a career counselor tomorrow.